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cartoons. Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17). Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the page. Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face. Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen. During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They ruled the earth over 65 million years ago." Discreetly position a number of bottle rockets on the floor. Discreetly light them. Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned, especially Stephen. Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate on how good it is. When they pass around the collection plate, drop in a piece of paper with Pat Robertson's MasterCard number. Turn to your neighbor, whisper: "This do in remembrance of me" and lick them. Fart, and have a friend shout: "Hark! An angel has spoken!" Blow bubbles. Fake a possession. Distribute condoms. Speak in tongues. Ask where
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